A Christmas Baby... PART ONE {13 Week Bumpdate}

The story begins way back in the fall when we had a conversation about whether or not we wanted more kids. We both felt like we could potentially have another one but we felt content with how things were. 

At some point after that conversation I was woken abruptly in the middle of the night to the whisper of one of my kids saying, "Mom!" I sat up quickly thinking one of them had a nightmare or was sick. I looked around my dark room and saw no one. A few weeks later the same whisper of "Mom!" woke me up in the night. No one was there, and when I went to check on the kids they were all fast asleep. 

I had the feeling that this whisper was a little spirit up in heaven waiting to join our family, but I also knew my family thought I was a little bit crazy! Ha! It was also around this time that we finally had a bike for Curtis and a seat for Lucy which meant we started going on almost nightly bike rides around the neighborhood. Every time we rode I felt so content and happy. I was in a good place. My children were all at fun and easy stages. The rough post part-em period was over and I felt like my body and mind were mine again.  

This was all in the glorious spring time when all the flowers were blooming and the sun shines, and the air is warm. It was also a time when the kids endured a few days of the dreaded stomach bug. I also started feeling pretty sick, but while the boy's were better within 24 hours, I was still feeling it several days later. The thought of that middle of the night whispering was still in the back of my mind, so I took a pregnancy test, just in case. I felt pretty silly doing it because what were the chances (you'll have to read all about my pcos journey here...)!? I remember squinting at that darn test so hard and sort of seeing a line, but sort of not. I decided I was just imagining things and was feeling fine with it. 

The very next morning, my good friend texted me first thing. Her message said, "Are you pregnant!?" because she had dreamed during the night that I was. I was shocked to see that! How did she know!? But since I had just taken that test, I told her that no, I was definitely NOT pregnant! 

A  few days later, however, I was STILL feeling sick. I took one more test, just to be sure. This time...

there were two solid, dark, pink lines. 

The story doesn't end there... the past 13 weeks have been the most difficult, emotional, and also amazing weeks. So look forward to a PART 2...

But for now, I thought it was time to share with our loving family and friends (since the "too much ice cream" pudge is starting to look questionable) that we are so excited to be expecting baby number 5 on or around Christmas Day! We are feeling extremely blessed!

Dear Ande,

You're nine now! So close to double digits; so close to a decade of life!

Your nine years of life define my life as a mother, the years of me learning how to live more selflessly. Becoming a mother to you and your siblings has changed me in almost every way and I'm so thankful for all the learning and growing.

I am enjoying you at this age SO much. You are fun to talk to and you ask a lot of interesting (and sometimes difficult) questions! It shows me how curious your mind is and how often you think about the world and the way things work. I love your curiosity.

You continue to love Lego's and researching the Titanic. But most of all you love spending time with your friends. You make and keep friends easily. Over the past couple of years, I've watched you grow friendships with almost every little boy in the neighborhood! And not only have you befriended them, you've invited them all to church and have recruited all of them into your cub scout troop. I'm constantly amazed by your ability to share the gospel so easily and freely.

As the oldest, you have so much responsibility placed on your shoulders. I often feel bad that I rely on your help so much, but you bear the burden so well. You are the hardest worker, the quickest to obey, and the most loving and caring big brother. I hate to see you growing older, but I also love the little glimpses of the future that I get with you. I see you as a devoted missionary, a hard working student, and a loving father.

I love being your mom! You are my sweet boy, still innocent in so many ways, yet mature and wise beyond your years. I look forward to all of the adventures that we will have this year!

Happy (late) birthday sweet Ande!